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Do you appreciate your parents, the way they deserve to be appreciated?

Appreciate

Do you appreciate your parents, the way they deserve to be appreciated? Are there days that go by where you don’t speak to your parents (in person, on the phone, via WhatsApp or even via email)? Are there times where you share exciting/important news with others first, before your parents? Are there times when you pop in to visit them, but then cut the visit short because you had other plans with other people? I know I am guilty of this, and if you are too, then this post is for you.

Appreciate your parents
My parents do not wish to be featured on the internet, so I have blurred the image

When Ammaarah was born, I discovered a new level of appreciation for my parents. I was taken aback at the level of (eternal) commitment required for raising a baby, it hit me like a brick in the face. But what hit me harder was the fact that my parents did the same for me, for so many years, and that I easily took that for granted. It was only after Ammaarah was born, that I truly learnt the meaning of ‘I could never repay you for what you have done (and continue to do) for me throughout my life’.

Appreciate your parents

Then Aqeelah was born and, as I had hoped, I instantly fell in love with her. I was granted the ‘love at first sight’ moment that I had made so much dua for. But strangely enough, and very unexpectedly, I also fell more deeply in love with Ammaarah. Right in front of my eyes, instantly and immediately, Ammaarah became a new person. She was no longer my little baby, but rather a toddler, she grew up in a matter of seconds. And it was only then that I truly learnt the meaning of ‘time passes by so quickly’.

When Aqeelah was born

Just a few weeks after Aqeelah was born, I began to experience the overwhelming feeling of ‘I don’t know what I would do without my children’. And this feeling grows stronger as each day that I am granted passes me by. (May we all be granted another day IA!) Often, I find myself going into a flat panic at the thought of something happening to them, after which I have to take a moment and tell myself to just relax because I cannot control everything (even though I wish with all my heart that I could!). I wish to be around them constantly, I wish to know about their every moment and I wish to experience there every adventure together with them.

This is however not possible. I do not possess the ability to provide them with everything they need to go through life on this earth and there will be a time where I will have to let go and allow them to live their own lives. And I accept that, I promise I do.

However, having said that, I can only wish that they would always be a part of my daily life. I wish that I would at least have the opportunity to communicate with them every day. I wish that they would at least feel comfortable enough to share exciting news with me first, before sharing with friends (as I am often guilty of). I wish that they would set aside enough time to spend with me, on a regular basis (however often regular may be for us). I wish, I wish, I wish, the list goes on and on (there is so much that I make dua for – may all our dua’s be accepted IA), but most importantly, I wish to feel included, to feel important to them, and to feel loved.

And then just the other day, I was hit by an epiphany and it has been bothering me immensely – I do not appreciate my parents the way they deserve to be treated.

My feelings were turned around, and I wondered how my parents felt. Was I present enough in their lives? Do my actions make them feel included, important or loved? Because I certainly am guilty of those questions that I posed above, and that surely cannot make them feel included, important or loved! There are days that go by where I don’t speak to them. I mean life is just so busy right? I wake up early to go to work and then work consumes my day and then when I return home it is straight into kids, supper, husband, blogging, treatmesweetlie, and even some tv. But is that a good enough excuse for not sparing 5 minutes to pick up the phone and say ‘Hello, how are you, and have a good night’? How is it possible, out of a full day, that I sometimes do not make the time to call them? My heart is absolutely shattered by this thought. Everything that I wish for from my children, I am not reciprocating to my own parents. (What type of example am I to my children?)

For me, personally, this is not the way my parents should be treated. They deserve better and they most certainly deserve more of my time. For if it weren’t for them, where would I have been today? Regardless of how far I am from them, regardless of whether they are on a different continent, regardless of whether I had a 14 hour work day, regardless of everything and anything, I must at least make the time to speak to them, every day.

Alhamd, I am blessed to still have both my parents with me on this earth, and I am utterly grateful that these thoughts have crossed my mind now. I am grateful that I have been granted the opportunity to make a change now, before it is too late. And if you are guilty of some of the things I have just mentioned, then I urge you to please consider changing your actions now, before it is too late. Because regardless of whatever may have happened or is happening in your life, we have only been granted one set of parents and we wouldn’t be where we are today without them. So if by the time you read this part of this post, please stop and pick up the phone and call your parents (if you haven’t done so already).

May we all be granted this opportunity IA. May we all take the time to appreciate our parents, the way they deserve to be treated, IA!

Thanks for reading and feel free to share your thoughts with me.

xxx

Radhia

(Please note that I, by no means, wish to exclude any type of parent from this post – whether it be adoptive parents or single parents. My post refers to both my parents, as I have been lucky enough to have been granted both to be a part of my life.)

 

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Coming back to normality…

…is really difficult, especially after recently returning from our trip to the holy cities of Madinah and Makkah for our journey of Umrah. There are absolutely no words to describe how amazing our journey was. In summary, it was two weeks of pure spirituality that nothing could ever compare to!

I will forever be thankful to the Almighty for granting my family this opportunity. May we be granted an Umrah Maqbool (an accepted Umrah) IA!

After 20 hours of travelling, we finally arrived at our hotel room in Madina, 20 minutes before the midday prayer. With no time to spare, we got ourselves ready to perform our first prayer in Masjid Al Nabawi. We were alone and we did not know which way to go. But once we reached the main street, it was clear that we were walking in the right direction. There were what seemed like millions of people walking in the same direction towards the same place for the same purpose. People of all nationalities, ethnicities, ages and genders.

What an amazing experience! Never in my life have I witnessed how easy it was for so many people to answer the call for prayer – easily and eagerly. The magnitude of people acting in unison is something I have never experienced before. And to this day, I cannot believe that I was blessed to be one of those people.

Despite the feeling of complete pride whilst walking with the countless number of people, our first trip to the Mosque was somewhat daunting. As females pray separately from males, Ammaarah and I needed to separate from Zieyaad. How was I going to manage alone? How was Ammaarah going to cope with all these people? How and what and where? It could have become a terrifying experience, but I decided to place my trust in the Almighty that we would undoubtably be okay.

There was not much time left, so Zieyaad and I agreed upon a meeting point and we separated. I followed the females and stopped at the closest group of ladies congregating outside of the mosque on the marble tiled floor.

My sister purchased a harness for Ammaarah to wear while I performed my prayers, which turned out to be one of the best items I travelled with. I quickly fastened the harness onto Ammaarah, with the other side attached to my ankle.

And the prayer began – I made it, just in time.

I had no prayer mat. I was unprepared. But it did not matter, because everywhere I looked, there were no prayer mats. Out on the marble tiled floor, I learnt my one of my most valuable lessons yet – I had no excuse for missing any of my daily prayers back home!  All these people stopped everything they were doing in order to answer the call to prayer. Why was I not able to do the same on so many occasions? (May we all strive to be steadfast in our daily prayers, IA!)

Ammaarah was amazingly calm and content. I was concerned that she would be afraid or slightly frustrated at being strapped to my ankle. But to my surprise, she was absolutely fine. She was in awe of the number of people, at the sound of the Imam leading the prayer and at the actions of so many people being in sync. I could immediately tell that this was going to be an experience that both myself and her would never forget!

I cannot explain it, but my heart yearns to hear the Athaan (the call to prayer) – loudly and clearly – and to witness the answer to that call for prayer so easily and eagerly by thousands and thousands (literally!) of people again.I yearn to be back there, where nothing else matters other than your duties towards the Almighty!

There is so much more I could say, but I’d rather save it for another post and leave you with some pics.

PS. I am still trying to work on my website, it is taking longer than I could have ever imagined! And I still need to figure out how to transport these later posts to the website. Eek, I may need to call an SOS soon!

All my love, xxx

 

Treatmesweetlie Umrah
as we approached the main street, it was clear that we were walking in the right direction

 

Treatmesweetlie Umrah
our first glimpse of Masjid Al Nabawi in Madina

 

 

Treatmesweetlie Umrah
Ammaarah strapped to her harness, eating a date that was gifted to her whilst being on the marble tiled floor

 

 

Treatmesweetlie Umrah
what seemed like millions of people

 

 

Treatmesweetlie Umrah
trying to take a selfie – what a fail!

 

Treatmesweetlie Umrah
Airport selfies – 8 hour layover! zzzzzz

 

Treatmesweetlie Umrah
mielie on the plane – best idea ever!

 

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A journey to motherhood – 2nd trimester

We were recently featured in the Preggie Diaries section of the Mamas and Papas magazine. It was a three part series, documenting our journey to parenthood/my journey to motherhood. This is what we had to say about our 2nd trimester…

All my life I have wanted to keep the gender of my first baby a surprise. The thought of being in the labour room and the doctor saying the words ‘it’s a girl’ or ‘it’s a boy’ when the baby pops out has been a lifelong dream.  Contrary to that, my husband, Zieyaad, has wanted to know from day one. Up until the 19th week, I had managed to get my way of keeping a secret. But then we had a scare. Whether due to major or minor complications, any scare of losing your baby is the absolute worst feeling. At the 20 week scan, I couldn’t but hold my stance anymore and we finally found out that we were a expecting a baby gir!! And from that day, we had called her ‘Princess Porschie’.

Princess Porschie has been on our minds all throughout every day. The excitement of feeling the first move within my belly, to purchasing her first dress, to purchasing the cot and planning the nursery room. How does one decide on these very many firsts of everything?? So many people will tell you that the baby will be unaware of its surroundings for the first few months and that so many of these decisions will seem trivial after your bundle of joy has arrived. But it is so difficult to accept this advice when all we want is the very best for our expectant baby girl. We have therefore taken the stance to do what makes us most happy at the moment and we are thoroughly enjoying each and every moment.

Pregnancy has come with its ups and downs during this trimester. After the scare, I was suspected to have developed gestational diabetes. Thankfully, it was only suspected. I was also hospitalised after contracting a viral infection. Thankfully again, it was only a few days of feeling really ill. The body is truly amazing. I have learnt that my body is in tune with my intuition, as my body would do everything to protect the baby first before myself, something I will always do for my soon to be baby girl. The foetal movements are becoming stronger as each day passes. I am so excited to meet this little being, whom has provided me with the unforgettable experience of feeling little butterflies turn into little pops and then turn into feelings of little arms and legs swimming about it my growing belly.

There is so much to look forward to and so much to be grateful for! We are blessed to be given the opportunity to become parents. To nurture, love and raise this little person with only the best of intentions. We can only pray and hope that we will be successful as parents, to our very special and magical Princess Porschie.

If you haven’t done so yet, have a read through my 1st trimester journey here.

our second insert in the mamas and papas magazine


a pic from our 2nd trimester
the first dress we bought her
the first dress we bought her
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Sunday OOTD

I have always loved the idea of an outfit of the day post. So why not a baby OOTD post? And how about an OOTD post every Sunday? (Let’s be honest, an ootd post every day would just become boring for both you and myself!)

So here goes my first Sunday OOTD post! Let me know your thoughts 😊

Sunday OOTD

Babygrow – Naartjie Kids Clothing

Loafers – Pick n Pay Clothing

Pacifier clip – Treatmesweetlie (contact me: Treatmesweetlie@gmail.com)

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Losing control 

IMG_3109
the birthday cake (minus the cars)
It was a busy and successful day. My nephew had his 1st birthday party and it was a great success. The kids had so much fun at his Cars themed birthday party. I think that must be the best part of a children’s party, seeing the little guests go home beyond exhausted because they had so much fun!

IMG_3116
my beautiful sister and her son
she was mesmorised by something
she was mesmorised by something
But now my home is in a mess. Ammaarah is finally sleeping, I am so exhausted but I cannot sleep.

I am laying on the couch, half watching a movie, but I cannot concentrate because there is a pile of washing that need to be folded, the clothes I wore this weekend need to be thrown in the wash basket, the kitchen is untidy with so many things that need to be packed away from yesterday’s preparation for the party today, the kitchen floors are covered in glitter and flour because of the party favours we made, dishes need to be washed, her bottles need to be sterilized, the cook books I used last week need to be packed away, the lampshades I am staring at need a spring clean, the tupperware cupboard needs to be packed, her 0 to 3 months clothing need to be sorted and given away, that bottom drawer in the kitchen that is filled with every odd and end that needed a home needs to be sorted, I need to complete orders for my pacifier clips, the fridge needs to be cleaned, etc. etc. etc. The list is endless.
All of a sudden I feel like I have lost control of my home. I don’t know where anything is anymore. I don’t know whether I am coming or going.
I am a control freak, and always have been. I need to have things in order. I need to do things a certain way. If that does not happen, I lose my mind! That is most definitely part of the reason why I struggled to adjust to motherhood – because I lost control. Those times I wished to be back at work as opposed to being with a crying baby, was only because I wanted control. I yearned for it. I wanted to be able to do something from start to finish without any disturbances. That cannot happen anymore unfortunately.
when did you cheeks become so fat??
when did you cheeks become so fat??
happy girl early in the morning!
happy girl early in the morning!
And that’s okay. I am trying to make peace with it. Before, I would have been doing a spring clean on a Saturday evening because the chaos bothered me too much to sleep. Now, it is bothering me, but not to the point where I need to do it at this moment.

This is a new me, I am now a mother. And I am slowly beginning to get to know myself better. Step by step, moment by moment and day by day. 

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And then we pierced her ears…

One of the(many!) things that bother most Mama’s who have a daughter is whether or not to have her ears pierced. There are many views on this – for some it is tradition, for some it is forbidden, and for others it is a decision that parents feel their daughters should make on their own. For me, it was simply tradition. My ears were pierced when I was little, my sisters’ ears too, my mothers, my cousins, my aunts, my friends, almost everyone female around me had their ears pierced when they were a baby. We therefore just had to decide on a time.

And it was a spur of the moment decision. We receive so many comments from strangers referring to her as a he. Does she look like a boy? I don’t think so. Or do I dress her like a boy too often? But she always has something on that is pink, so I really don’t get it! (what do you think?)

Zieyaad and I were chatting about it on Monday passed and we decided to just do it. No thinking about it, just do it.

So we went to a well-known jeweller (where basically everyone in Cape Town goes) and the staff were beyond amazing. They reassured us that it would only take a few seconds and that she would only cry because of the shock. They were friendly and entertained Ammaarah while one of the staff members made markings for where the piercings would go. All the entertainment made Princess Porschie non the wiser of what was about to happen. And then the time came….

…EEEkkkk. My nerves! My legs were jittery and I was sweating. And I had to hold her! Really? Why me?! They even had to give me a moment to just catch myself and remind myself to breathe. We had to stop Zieyaad from wanting to pierce his own ears because he wanted to share in what we thought would be her pain. We must have been the most highly strung parents who had ever come to have their daughters ears pierced in that store! They could not stop laughing at us!

And then it was over. Just like that. (relief, a huge sigh of relief!) Really, there was nothing more. No, really!

My word, the hype was definitely more intense than the actual event.  She cried from the shock of the first piercing, but the moment we hugged her she stopped. My little girl sailed through the agony of thirty seconds of ear-piercing. I am so proud of her!

So if you are fretting about when to have your little girls ears pierced (assuming that you have decided to do it already), don’t fret anymore, just do it! I promise, those nasty vaccinations are one hundred times worst!

And now Princess Porschie without a doubt looks like a girl! Don’t you agree?

Before…
Marking where the piercing would go…
Crying because of the shock…
Oh my poor baby – crocodile tears!
And then my little girl was happy! Pretty as a picture!