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Those words everyone told me has finally come true for me

It’s been months since I have had to hold my little girl in my arms in order for her to sleep. It actually feels like a distant memory.

You know how it is, when people always ask you those horrid unanswerable questions? ‘When are you going to get married?’, and then ‘when are you having a baby?’, and then after that, ‘when are you having another baby?’. Well I am getting that last question all the time now, and my usual response is something like ‘Please not yet, I am still traumatized from the first one!’.

People are always shocked by my honest response, which usually ends that part of the conversation rather quickly. I know it may seem like a harsh response, but it is unfortunately the ugly truth! My adjustment to motherhood is no better described other than by the word traumatizing, and one of the reasons contributing to that was the fact that I had to hold my baby in my arms all day, every day, so that she could sleep. (And when she wasn’t sleeping, she was crying, in my arms!) After I had spoken out about it, I discovered that it was a rather common occurrence in those first three months of motherhood (yet another thing people don’t often talk about). My reaction to it was traumatizing because I was just not prepared for it.

After 3 months, I told Zieyaad that we (or more like I) could not continue like this and that we needed to find a solution. Our solution was sleep training, (which was very successful), and ever since then, my little girl falls asleep quickly, easily, and on most occasions, on her own. Today however, she really struggled to have her second nap for the day. It was extremely challenging for me because I haven’t experienced this in so long.

We attended her third swimming lesson this morning and it was the most active lesson yet. I can only but assume that she was totally exhausted, causing her to be over-tired. She didn’t want to play, eat or sleep! She was moody and cried for the longest time. (It was totally deja vu!).

I eventually held her in arms, rather tightly and forcefully, and recited to her, which helped her calm down. Snuggle bunny then did the trick and she fell asleep soon thereafter. Problem was that she did not fall into a deep sleep, and any attempt at putting her down startled her awake and which resulted in her crying again (very much like those first three months!). So once again I found myself propped up with pillows, making myself comfortable so that I was able to hold my baby so that she could sleep as long as she needed to.

This time it was completely different though. This time it felt so right. The sound of her breath, the warmth of her body, the smell of her blanket, just about everything about her felt so right. I was completely content and at peace with my motherly duty.

And only now, 6 months later, I can finally say that I agree with all you mommies who told me, at some stage or another, that I should hold my baby as much as I could because soon I was going to miss it. So so so true, because i truly and utterly miss it!

And now I am going to be one of those mommies giving you similar advise. If you too are struggling to get your little one to sleep off the arm, and you find yourself holding your baby all day long, and you find yourself feeling exhausted and tired and irritable at not being able to do the things you are normally able to do for yourself (at your own leisurely time), then this is for you….

These moments that seem absolutely unbearable are only going to last for a few more weeks. Soon it will be a distant memory.

Change your mindset. Toss those predetermined moments out of your head, and embrace the moments you currently find yourself in.

This little person you are holding needs you to hold them when they need to be held, needs you to feed them when they are hungry, needs you to change their nappy when needed and needs you to walk and up down and sway and bounce when they are crying for no particular reason. Their adjustment to life is far more unbearable than your adjustment to motherhood. Embrace these facts. 

Find your comfortable position, make sure your pillows are propped up in the correct positions, make sure your snacks are at arm’s length reach (and the tv remote), and embrace these moments. 

And most importantly, trust and believe that the Almighty will assist you in helping your little one adjust to this life.

Because before you know it, it will be over, and you will undoubtedly miss them, without you even realizing it.

All my love

xxx

Treatmesweetlie those words
This moment will be cherished forever…
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A journey to motherhood – 1st Trimester

We were recently featured in a three-part series of Preggie Diaries in the Mamas and Papas magazine. The three-part series covered each of the three trimesters of our pregnancy and perfectly surmised our journey.

Here is what we had to say (I have edited the piece so that it is written by me and no longer in the third person)…

Zieyaad and I will hopefully share our 4th wedding anniversary with the birth of our first child. We have created an email account for our first unborn child, where we send our baby emails on a daily basis that talk about anything and everything. Our plan is to continue to email our child about everyday events, attaching pictures and video clips, from the day we first found out we were pregnant, until the day we believe that she is of an age where she will appreciate how we saw and experienced her life. This is an extract of our first email to our first unborn child:

“On the evening of 1 April 2014, Mom and Dad passed a pharmacy in Rondebosch Main Road. Mom told Dad that evening that we should buy a pregnancy test because Mom was late with her period. Mom was convinced that something was happening as she was never late. Dad, on the other hand, did not take Mom seriously because earlier in the year, January 2014, we had a false alarm. Mom told Dad the same thing while we were traveling in Europe. But it turned out that Mom had just calculated her days wrong – silly Mom!

After some debate, we went into the pharmacy to purchase a pregnancy test. There were a variety of different types and brands to choose from. There was an electric one, which was capable of calculating how far along you are in the pregnancy and digitally states ‘pregnant’ or ‘not pregnant’. Or alternatively, there was a simple test which would show in lines whether or not you were pregnant. Because Dad didn’t believe Mom, Dad opted for the simpler option – silly Dad!

When we got home, Mom went to take the test and Dad went to his favourite place – the couch in front of the TV. Mom went to the bathroom and was out in two ticks, wide-eyed and screaming for Dad. Mom showed Dad the simple pregnancy test and wanted Dad to confirm that it was positive. Dad told Mom that you do not get false positives and we both burst into tears. Dad then got into the car and rushed back to the same pharmacy to purchase the digital test, which showed Mom was in fact over 3 weeks pregnant. From that moment, we were both so thankful to the Almighty for granting us the opportunity to become parents and were instantly excited.

Our first appointment with the gynecologist was 10:30am yesterday, May 9th. Dad was very nervous the night before and could not sleep, but Mom was very excited. At our appointment the doctor enquired about Mom’s medical history and then performed our first foetal scan. On the monitor we saw and heard your little heart beat so fast! We burst into tears because we were so happy! The doctor also confirmed that your expected date of arrival would be December 5th 2014 – the date of Mom and Dad’s wedding anniversary. Hearing this news was so special, and Dad took a video and some photos to remember it.

As we drove back home after the doctor had confirmed that you were really our first baby, the first song we heard playing on the radio was one written by Coldplay called ‘Magic’. Mom and Dad both cried, because this truly was a magical moment for us. At that moment we decided that we would dedicate this song to you. Know that your were loved long before we even met you and that we will always love you.”

Follow me on Instagram (@treatmesweetlie) for more updates!

our first insert in the Mamas & Papas magazine
the pregnancy test
my baby bump in the first trimester