To Zieyaad, my follower and to all whom have chosen to read this post
I felt ill today and could not get myself to parent. Zieyaad was out as he had a business meeting to attend to, so I was alone with my little girl. I therefore plonked myself on the couch and gave Ammaarah the opportunity to have as much TV time as she could wish for in one sitting, so that I could have some time to get my energy levels up. I felt physically terrible, and mentally guilty for using the TV to help me gain some time to just relax. And then I posted this picture on Instagram…
…and this picture sparked a waterfall of emotions for me! One of my followers reached out to me, sharing with me that she too was struggling with parenting lately, except that with her, her husband had passed away recently. At that moment, when I read her message, my heart sunk deep into my chest. I could not begin to fathom how she could possibly be feeling.
I never shared this story with you before, a story that will always be held dear to my heart. When I was a few months pregnant with Ammaarah, my sister lost her husband. This was almost three years ago now. It was sudden, unexpected and a complete blow to our lives. It was a really challenging time for all of us, but most of all for his parents and my sister. I watched my sister, from the side, as she mourned her husband, the father of my 3 month old nephew at the time.
For me, it seemed as though we would never be able to get passed this happening in our lives. I cannot speak on behalf of my sister, but if that is how I felt, I have no idea how she possibly felt. For months, I watched how she mourned her loss, I watched how she became stronger, I watched how she allowed ease to enter her heart and I watched how she was granted understanding as time passed by. And it was during this time, where I truly grew closer to the Almighty, and I grew appreciative of the wonderful blessings I have in my life (one of which is my Zieyaad). Fortunately, as time passed by, the wounds healed, the pain became easier and the loss became more bearable. But unfortunately, as time goes on and as wounds heal, you begin to forget the pain and you begin to slip into a world of normality again, taking for granted the many many things we have in our present lives that we need to be thankful and grateful for.
Right now, I am laying on my bed drafting this blog post. My wonderful husband has taken Ammaarah to visit her cousins, so that I can have some time to rest. This is something that he does for me quite often, and it is something that I sometimes take for granted. And had you not reached out to me today (and you know who you are), I would have simply put on my pj’s and gone straight to bed after Zieyaad and Ammaarah had left, with no second thought to the one more wonderful thing my husband has done for me.
He really is my rock and my main form of human support in this life. He makes me coffee every morning, he cooks most of the time, he bathes Ammaarah, he plays with her, he wakes up in the middle of the night when Ammaarah is restless or needs some milk (partly so that I can sleep), he always makes sure that we are fed, he will easily and without a whim drive out late at night to fulfil my pregnancy cravings, he always puts us first, he makes sure that everything around the house runs smoothly, when I need the heels of my shoes replaced – he takes them to the shoe repairer for me, he always makes sure both Ammaarah and I take our medicine on time when we are ill, when I am working late he does everything for Ammaarah and makes sure that there is something for me to eat when I get home, when I need to go somewhere (alone) and I don’t feel like driving he will gladly take me, he wipes the sand off my feet when we come from the beach because he knows I don’t like the feeling, and that is only but to name a few! He does everything for us and sometimes I am just not grateful and appreciative enough. (To my Zieyaad, I am sorry!)
So firstly to whomever has decided to read this post – appreciate your spouses! Appreciate the many different ways they portray their love to you. Take a moment to forget about the things that they don’t do, but to remember the forgotten things that they do, on a daily basis, without any ask and without any complaint. Life is short, too short, and none of us are able to see into the future. There may not be a tomorrow, so don’t wait until tomorrow to say something as simple as ‘thank you’.
Then to my follower, who reached out to me today because of something I said that resonated with her. This post is not meant to remind you of what you have lost, but rather to remind you of what the Almighty has blessed you with – some blessings for a period of time, and some blessings for the rest of your time on this earth. A post to remind you that you were the chosen one to be made his wife and the chosen one to be made the mother of his children. You were the person, that was chosen for him, for him to love and for him to make happy, through to the end of his life on this earth. You were the person, that was chosen for him, to love him and to make him happy through to the end of his life on this earth. You have been granted the gift of being able to share all that he has taught you with others around you, so that he may always receive the reward for his actions on this earth. You have been granted the gift, to be able to mother his children and to love them until the end of your life on this earth. You have been granted the gift, of being able to create memories with him, that will last you for this lifetime and the hereafter IA. You have been granted with many gifts, none of which will appear to be as such at this point in time, but which will become more clear as time passes by.
And then to my Zieyaad, my dear husband and the father of my children. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you do for me, Ammaarah and our unborn baby. I thank you for the countless ways you show love towards me. I thank you for dedicating your life on this earth to making your girls happy. I appreciate you and everything that you do for me. And I promise to be better at always showing you my appreciation. I truly am the luckiest girl, to have been granted you to be my husband. I love you, with all the love that my heart is able to share with another human on this earth. May our lives together always be happy and successful IA!