Do you appreciate your parents, the way they deserve to be appreciated? Are there days that go by where you don’t speak to your parents (in person, on the phone, via WhatsApp or even via email)? Are there times where you share exciting/important news with others first, before your parents? Are there times when you pop in to visit them, but then cut the visit short because you had other plans with other people? I know I am guilty of this, and if you are too, then this post is for you.
When Ammaarah was born, I discovered a new level of appreciation for my parents. I was taken aback at the level of (eternal) commitment required for raising a baby, it hit me like a brick in the face. But what hit me harder was the fact that my parents did the same for me, for so many years, and that I easily took that for granted. It was only after Ammaarah was born, that I truly learnt the meaning of ‘I could never repay you for what you have done (and continue to do) for me throughout my life’.
Then Aqeelah was born and, as I had hoped, I instantly fell in love with her. I was granted the ‘love at first sight’ moment that I had made so much dua for. But strangely enough, and very unexpectedly, I also fell more deeply in love with Ammaarah. Right in front of my eyes, instantly and immediately, Ammaarah became a new person. She was no longer my little baby, but rather a toddler, she grew up in a matter of seconds. And it was only then that I truly learnt the meaning of ‘time passes by so quickly’.
Just a few weeks after Aqeelah was born, I began to experience the overwhelming feeling of ‘I don’t know what I would do without my children’. And this feeling grows stronger as each day that I am granted passes me by. (May we all be granted another day IA!) Often, I find myself going into a flat panic at the thought of something happening to them, after which I have to take a moment and tell myself to just relax because I cannot control everything (even though I wish with all my heart that I could!). I wish to be around them constantly, I wish to know about their every moment and I wish to experience there every adventure together with them.
This is however not possible. I do not possess the ability to provide them with everything they need to go through life on this earth and there will be a time where I will have to let go and allow them to live their own lives. And I accept that, I promise I do.
However, having said that, I can only wish that they would always be a part of my daily life. I wish that I would at least have the opportunity to communicate with them every day. I wish that they would at least feel comfortable enough to share exciting news with me first, before sharing with friends (as I am often guilty of). I wish that they would set aside enough time to spend with me, on a regular basis (however often regular may be for us). I wish, I wish, I wish, the list goes on and on (there is so much that I make dua for – may all our dua’s be accepted IA), but most importantly, I wish to feel included, to feel important to them, and to feel loved.
And then just the other day, I was hit by an epiphany and it has been bothering me immensely – I do not appreciate my parents the way they deserve to be treated.
My feelings were turned around, and I wondered how my parents felt. Was I present enough in their lives? Do my actions make them feel included, important or loved? Because I certainly am guilty of those questions that I posed above, and that surely cannot make them feel included, important or loved! There are days that go by where I don’t speak to them. I mean life is just so busy right? I wake up early to go to work and then work consumes my day and then when I return home it is straight into kids, supper, husband, blogging, treatmesweetlie, and even some tv. But is that a good enough excuse for not sparing 5 minutes to pick up the phone and say ‘Hello, how are you, and have a good night’? How is it possible, out of a full day, that I sometimes do not make the time to call them? My heart is absolutely shattered by this thought. Everything that I wish for from my children, I am not reciprocating to my own parents. (What type of example am I to my children?)
For me, personally, this is not the way my parents should be treated. They deserve better and they most certainly deserve more of my time. For if it weren’t for them, where would I have been today? Regardless of how far I am from them, regardless of whether they are on a different continent, regardless of whether I had a 14 hour work day, regardless of everything and anything, I must at least make the time to speak to them, every day.
Alhamd, I am blessed to still have both my parents with me on this earth, and I am utterly grateful that these thoughts have crossed my mind now. I am grateful that I have been granted the opportunity to make a change now, before it is too late. And if you are guilty of some of the things I have just mentioned, then I urge you to please consider changing your actions now, before it is too late. Because regardless of whatever may have happened or is happening in your life, we have only been granted one set of parents and we wouldn’t be where we are today without them. So if by the time you read this part of this post, please stop and pick up the phone and call your parents (if you haven’t done so already).
May we all be granted this opportunity IA. May we all take the time to appreciate our parents, the way they deserve to be treated, IA!
Thanks for reading and feel free to share your thoughts with me.
(Please note that I, by no means, wish to exclude any type of parent from this post – whether it be adoptive parents or single parents. My post refers to both my parents, as I have been lucky enough to have been granted both to be a part of my life.)