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Tips for dealing with fevers in kids

Fevers in kids

We’ve had a rather strenuous past few days, most certainly more emotionally than physically. Ammaarah has been spiking fevers of up to 40 degrees and it was terrifyingly rough! As much as I tried to rest after giving her doses of medicine, I struggled to, because I could not get myself to stop checking up on her and testing her temp every few minutes. This certainly will resonate with many of you.

Fevers in kids

Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah, her fever broke earlier today and hasn’t returned since. I couldn’t be more thankful and grateful that she is finally on the mend!

Dealing with fevers is never any fun and often very scary, so I thought I’d share some tips with you regarding how we have managed get through them so far:

1. Invest in a good thermometer.

I was gifted a digital one when Ammaarah was born, and it truly was one of the best gifts we received. It is quick, effortless and accurate. During times like this, it truly is the most comforting fact knowing that you can positively identify fevers.

2. Always have pain relief medication in your home

And always have the option of both syrup or suppository. Ammaarah really struggles to take medicine, we constantly have to fight with her to get it down (sometimes we have to hold her with force, and use a syringe to insert small bits in her mouth so that she can swallow without gagging and throwing up – a painful process to say the least!). I truly believe that suppositories are the best solution for such high fevers, because when they are this ill, it’s a struggle to reason with them. They work the fastest, and its best to get the fever down as fast as possible. We usually have Empaped and Ponstan suppositories in our medicine box, with my experience of Ponstan working more effectively.

3. Encourage them to eat anything you can find that is cold

Even if you feel they going to throw up everything (as they often do at such high fevers). Rather be armed with a bucket nearby, but allow them to eat as much ice, ice lollies, cold fruit, or drink cold juice or water as they can stomach. It will certainly help bring the temperature down quicker.

4. Undress them

Even if they going to fight you and say they are cold. Their skin should be exposed to air so that the heat can escape their body. It’s simple science really, the wider the surface area, the quicker the heat releases. If they are complaining that they are cold, cover them with a thin breathable blanket (I always use a muslin).

When you have undressed them, be sure to not have any direct wind or cold breeze reach them. At such high temperatures, your body becomes sensitive – sensitive to touch – and even the slightest breeze can be painful. Think back to how you feel when you have a common flu fever, well it’s the same for your little ones.

5. Skin to skin contact is best.

Much like they always say, that when one is stuck in icy cold conditions, the best way to stay warm and get your body heat up is to have skin to skin contact. Now the same logic applies to bringing your body heat down. Your body temperature will help regulate their temperature. Now I don’t mean you both have to be naked, but expose as much skin as possible onto theirs. Cuddle them, even if they fight you.

6. Luke warm water sponges

Use a damp cloth and constantly sponge them down with luke warm water. Please ensure that the water is luke warm, as their bodies are so sensitive at this point and anything too hot or too cold will be painful. (I honestly never really do this because it is too painful and cold for Ammaarah.)

7. Luke warm baths

Give them a luke warm bath. I also never really do this because Ammaarah refuses to touch any water. Her body is so sensitive at this point that we struggle to even stroke her face or body for comfort.

8. Wipe down with vinegar water

Use the old school remedy of wiping them down with vinegar water really works. I honestly cannot explain the science behind it, but it truly works for us. It somehow helps to calm her down and thereby brings her fever down. It seems to be soothing to her skin.

9. Chose your battles wisely

It’s not easy dealing with a child that has a fever. They are not co-operative and are often screaming and crying at the thought of doing anything other than just laying down. So if they refuse to bath, don’t bother to drain your energy by trying to force them. Rather wipe them down or try skin to skin contact. If they refuse to swallow medication, rather fight the suppository battle. It’s less messy and quicker to administer. At this point, chose the lesser of the two evils as it will be less strenuous on all of you.

10. Trust your gut

If something inside is telling you that something is wrong, it’s probably true. You will know when it’s time to consult a doctor. The fact that you are questioning whether you need to go to doctor is probably the first sign that you need to go. At that point, don’t hesitate and consult a professional.

11. Duah, duah and more duah

The power of prayer should never be underestimated. I often find that the moment I tell my parents that Ammaarah is ill, and they start making duah for her recovery, the turnaround time comes quick. Some may say it’s just coincidence, but I truly believe that it was because of their prayers that helped bring Ammaarah to recovery.

What are your remedies for dealing with fevers in kids? Please do share, I would love to know.

xxx

Radhia

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Do you appreciate your parents, the way they deserve to be appreciated?

Appreciate

Do you appreciate your parents, the way they deserve to be appreciated? Are there days that go by where you don’t speak to your parents (in person, on the phone, via WhatsApp or even via email)? Are there times where you share exciting/important news with others first, before your parents? Are there times when you pop in to visit them, but then cut the visit short because you had other plans with other people? I know I am guilty of this, and if you are too, then this post is for you.

Appreciate your parents
My parents do not wish to be featured on the internet, so I have blurred the image

When Ammaarah was born, I discovered a new level of appreciation for my parents. I was taken aback at the level of (eternal) commitment required for raising a baby, it hit me like a brick in the face. But what hit me harder was the fact that my parents did the same for me, for so many years, and that I easily took that for granted. It was only after Ammaarah was born, that I truly learnt the meaning of ‘I could never repay you for what you have done (and continue to do) for me throughout my life’.

Appreciate your parents

Then Aqeelah was born and, as I had hoped, I instantly fell in love with her. I was granted the ‘love at first sight’ moment that I had made so much dua for. But strangely enough, and very unexpectedly, I also fell more deeply in love with Ammaarah. Right in front of my eyes, instantly and immediately, Ammaarah became a new person. She was no longer my little baby, but rather a toddler, she grew up in a matter of seconds. And it was only then that I truly learnt the meaning of ‘time passes by so quickly’.

When Aqeelah was born

Just a few weeks after Aqeelah was born, I began to experience the overwhelming feeling of ‘I don’t know what I would do without my children’. And this feeling grows stronger as each day that I am granted passes me by. (May we all be granted another day IA!) Often, I find myself going into a flat panic at the thought of something happening to them, after which I have to take a moment and tell myself to just relax because I cannot control everything (even though I wish with all my heart that I could!). I wish to be around them constantly, I wish to know about their every moment and I wish to experience there every adventure together with them.

This is however not possible. I do not possess the ability to provide them with everything they need to go through life on this earth and there will be a time where I will have to let go and allow them to live their own lives. And I accept that, I promise I do.

However, having said that, I can only wish that they would always be a part of my daily life. I wish that I would at least have the opportunity to communicate with them every day. I wish that they would at least feel comfortable enough to share exciting news with me first, before sharing with friends (as I am often guilty of). I wish that they would set aside enough time to spend with me, on a regular basis (however often regular may be for us). I wish, I wish, I wish, the list goes on and on (there is so much that I make dua for – may all our dua’s be accepted IA), but most importantly, I wish to feel included, to feel important to them, and to feel loved.

And then just the other day, I was hit by an epiphany and it has been bothering me immensely – I do not appreciate my parents the way they deserve to be treated.

My feelings were turned around, and I wondered how my parents felt. Was I present enough in their lives? Do my actions make them feel included, important or loved? Because I certainly am guilty of those questions that I posed above, and that surely cannot make them feel included, important or loved! There are days that go by where I don’t speak to them. I mean life is just so busy right? I wake up early to go to work and then work consumes my day and then when I return home it is straight into kids, supper, husband, blogging, treatmesweetlie, and even some tv. But is that a good enough excuse for not sparing 5 minutes to pick up the phone and say ‘Hello, how are you, and have a good night’? How is it possible, out of a full day, that I sometimes do not make the time to call them? My heart is absolutely shattered by this thought. Everything that I wish for from my children, I am not reciprocating to my own parents. (What type of example am I to my children?)

For me, personally, this is not the way my parents should be treated. They deserve better and they most certainly deserve more of my time. For if it weren’t for them, where would I have been today? Regardless of how far I am from them, regardless of whether they are on a different continent, regardless of whether I had a 14 hour work day, regardless of everything and anything, I must at least make the time to speak to them, every day.

Alhamd, I am blessed to still have both my parents with me on this earth, and I am utterly grateful that these thoughts have crossed my mind now. I am grateful that I have been granted the opportunity to make a change now, before it is too late. And if you are guilty of some of the things I have just mentioned, then I urge you to please consider changing your actions now, before it is too late. Because regardless of whatever may have happened or is happening in your life, we have only been granted one set of parents and we wouldn’t be where we are today without them. So if by the time you read this part of this post, please stop and pick up the phone and call your parents (if you haven’t done so already).

May we all be granted this opportunity IA. May we all take the time to appreciate our parents, the way they deserve to be treated, IA!

Thanks for reading and feel free to share your thoughts with me.

xxx

Radhia

(Please note that I, by no means, wish to exclude any type of parent from this post – whether it be adoptive parents or single parents. My post refers to both my parents, as I have been lucky enough to have been granted both to be a part of my life.)

 

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Appreciate your spouses – A letter to you

Treatmesweetlie About Me 1

To Zieyaad, my follower and to all whom have chosen to read this post

I felt ill today and could not get myself to parent. Zieyaad was out as he had a business meeting to attend to, so I was alone with my little girl. I therefore plonked myself on the couch and gave Ammaarah the opportunity to have as much TV time as she could wish for in one sitting, so that I could have some time to get my energy levels up. I felt physically terrible, and mentally guilty for using the TV to help me gain some time to just relax. And then I posted this picture on Instagram

Appreciate your spouses

…and this picture sparked a waterfall of emotions for me! One of my followers reached out to me, sharing with me that she too was struggling with parenting lately, except that with her, her husband had passed away recently. At that moment, when I read her message, my heart sunk deep into my chest. I could not begin to fathom how she could possibly be feeling.

I never shared this story with you before, a story that will always be held dear to my heart. When I was a few months pregnant with Ammaarah, my sister lost her husband. This was almost three years ago now. It was sudden, unexpected and a complete blow to our lives. It was a really challenging time for all of us, but most of all for his parents and my sister. I watched my sister, from the side, as she mourned her husband, the father of  my 3 month old nephew at the time.

For me, it seemed as though we would never be able to get passed this happening in our lives. I cannot speak on behalf of my sister, but if that is how I felt, I have no idea how she possibly felt. For months, I watched how she mourned her loss, I watched how she became stronger, I watched how she allowed ease to enter her heart and I watched how she was granted understanding as time passed by. And it was during this time, where I truly grew closer to the Almighty, and I grew appreciative of the wonderful blessings I have in my life (one of which is my Zieyaad). Fortunately, as time passed by, the wounds healed, the pain became easier and the loss became more bearable. But unfortunately, as time goes on and as wounds heal, you begin to forget the pain and you begin to slip into a world of normality again, taking for granted the many many things we have in our present lives that we need to be thankful and grateful for.

Right now, I am laying on my bed drafting this blog post. My wonderful husband has taken Ammaarah to visit her cousins, so that I can have some time to rest. This is something that he does for me quite often, and it is something that I sometimes take for granted. And had you not reached out to me today (and you know who you are), I would have simply put on my pj’s and gone straight to bed after Zieyaad and Ammaarah had left, with no second thought to the one more wonderful thing my husband has done for me.

He really is my rock and my main form of human support in this life. He makes me coffee every morning, he cooks most of the time, he bathes Ammaarah, he plays with her, he wakes up in the middle of the night when Ammaarah is restless or needs some milk (partly so that I can sleep), he always makes sure that we are fed, he will easily and without a whim drive out late at night to fulfil my pregnancy cravings, he always puts us first, he makes sure that everything around the house runs smoothly, when I need the heels of my shoes replaced – he takes them to the shoe repairer for me, he always makes sure both Ammaarah and I take our medicine on time when we are ill, when I am working late he does everything for Ammaarah and makes sure that there is something for me to eat when I get home, when I need to go somewhere (alone) and I don’t feel like driving he will gladly take me, he wipes the sand off my feet when we come from the beach because he knows I don’t like the feeling, and that is only but to name a few! He does everything for us and sometimes I am just not grateful and appreciative enough. (To my Zieyaad, I am sorry!)

So firstly to whomever has decided to read this post – appreciate your spouses! Appreciate the many different ways they portray their love to you. Take a moment to forget about the things that they don’t do, but to remember the forgotten things that they do, on a daily basis, without any ask and without any complaint. Life is short, too short, and none of us are able to see into the future. There may not be a tomorrow, so don’t wait until tomorrow to say something as simple as ‘thank you’.

Then to my follower, who reached out to me today because of something I said that resonated with her. This post is not meant to remind you of what you have lost, but rather to remind you of what the Almighty has blessed you with – some blessings for a period of time, and some blessings for the rest of your time on this earth.  A post to remind you that you were the chosen one to be made his wife and the chosen one to be made the mother of his children. You were the person, that was chosen for him, for him to love and for him to make happy, through to the end of his life on this earth. You were the person, that was chosen for him, to love him and to make him happy through to the end of his life on this earth. You have been granted the gift of being able to share all that he has taught you with others around you, so that he may always receive the reward for his actions on this earth. You have been granted the gift, to be able to mother his children and to love them until the end of your life on this earth. You have been granted the gift, of being able to create memories with him, that will last you for this lifetime and the hereafter IA. You have been granted with many gifts, none of which will appear to be as such at this point in time, but which will become more clear as time passes by.

And then to my Zieyaad, my dear husband and the father of my children. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you do for me, Ammaarah and our unborn baby. I thank you for the countless ways you show love towards me. I thank you for dedicating your life on this earth to making your girls happy. I appreciate you and everything that you do for me. And I promise to be better at always showing you my appreciation. I truly am the luckiest girl, to have been granted you to be my husband. I love you, with all the love that my heart is able to share with another human on this earth. May our lives together always be happy and successful IA!

xxx

Radhia

Appreciate your spouses

 

 

 

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What if I love Porschie #2 more?

What if I love Porsche #2 more?

It seems to be normal, that when baby number 2 is on his or her way, that a mother would fear that she would not be able to love baby number 2 as much as baby number 1. Sound familiar? Well for me, it is somewhat different, because my fear is completely  the opposite! What if I love Porschie #2 more?

You see, I had a really rough start to motherhood. The delivery did not go as planned, there were epidural complications causing 2 weeks of intense recovery (read more about my birth story here), I struggled with breastfeeding for at least 8 weeks, Ammaarah had gas and wouldn’t stop crying, I most certainly suffered from post natal depression, and and and… In hind site, I absolutely know that I truly was my own worst enemy and it was mainly self inflicted, but regardless, I experienced those things. And those things unfortunately caused me to not love my baby from the moment I saw her – you know, that ‘love at first sight’ emotion you are supposed to feel when you finally meet your little one? Well not for me. I think I only fell in love with her after a few months. I mean, of course I loved her, my maternal instincts would not allow anything else, but I did not feel that unexplainable feeling of warm custard flowing through every part of your body – that feeling of love – until months later!

Hence my fear…what if I love Porschie #2 more, as early as from the start? What if I am granted that blessing of ‘love at first sight’ with Porschie #2? What if I feel that unexplainable feeling of warm custard from the get go?

I have no doubt that I will love my children equally – as best as I know how. I have no doubt that I will do my utmost best for them, always. I have no doubt that I will treat them as individuals, but all equal in terms of being my children. But again, what if I fall in love with Porschie #2 earlier? Wouldn’t that already mean that I was treating my children differently? (My heart just cannot deal with the guilt!)

Almost 19 weeks now (alhamdulillah), and I can finally start to feel Porschie #2 in my belly. Those early feelings of flutters in your belly (when you are not quite sure if it is a fart or not), and then that confirming feeling of little pops in your belly. Especially when you sit quietly and concentrate on the absolute blessing growing in your belly! I can finally feel Porschie #2 and I have already fallen in love…but that guilt has unfortunately begun!

Am I crazy, to feel this way? Or is this perhaps normal? I have no idea, but one thing I know for sure, is that each pregnancy is most certainly different and that has been proven to me already! I can only but pray that I am granted with another successful 21 weeks of pregnancy and be granted with the greatest blessing of a baby number 2 (and a healthy baby) IA!

 

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Dummy weaning wasn’t so bad after all!

Dummy weaning

Would you believe me if I told you that Princess Porschie will be turning 2 years old in a few days time?? Every time we reach a new milestone, and it really happens each and every time, I think back and I am beyond shocked at how quickly time has passed by. I still remember it as though it was yesterday, when I was pacing my non stop crying baby around the house during her 4th trimester, with the dummy being one of my saving graces!

Dummy weaning

Because Ammaarah suffered with gas during the first 3 months of her life, I felt as though I had no choice but to use a dummy. She needed to suck for comfort, and being the human dummy all day long was way too exhausting for me to handle. Sometimes I wonder if I really had no choice, sometimes I wonder whether I tried hard enough so that she didn’t have to make use of the dummy. I suppose those type of feelings are normal, where you second guess some of the choices you made in life, wondering if it would have been better had you done something differently. But not long after those thoughts have entered my mind, I slowly remind myself that everything happens as it should, only by the will of the Almighty, and that Ammaarah using the dummy was most certainly meant to be.

Dummy weaning

As you know, Ammaarah has been the face and main representative of the Treatmesweetlie handmade pacifier (dummy) clips. And rightfully so, as she was the one who inspired the idea in the first place. Because of this, I must admit, I delayed dummy weaning as long as I possibly could because I selfishly tried to hold onto that precious memory for as long as I could….until I went shopping and I saw a 5-year-old kid (I am convinced the kid must have been 5!) sucking a dummy while watching YouTube videos on a mobile phone! Now I do apologise if that was your kid and believe me when I say that I am not judging you, but this image scared the living daylights out of me as I slowly began to imagine the same scenario in my mind, except with Ammaarah as the kid.

It was at that moment when I realised that it was time for the dummy to go!

I used to have nightmares about it though, wondering how on earth I was going to get Ammaarah to stop using the dummy. She absolutely LOVED her dummy and went nowhere without it. (Obviously, that was partly because we always attached it to her clothing!) It had become a habit for her, a habit more than a necessity. She only really sucked on it when she realised she was wearing it, when she found it while playing, or when she wanted to sleep. She began to use it less as a method of soothing herself when she was crying, another sign for me that it was pure habit. I unfortunately stopped nursing when Ammaarah was 6 months old (working and nursing was just too difficult for me to uphold), so there was thankfully also no need for me to hang onto the dummy for that type of weaning.

We started weaning soon after that incident in the shop, and we did it as follows:

  • We stopped attaching the dummy to her clothing. We didn’t refuse her when she asked for it though, or when she found one lying around and decided to use it, or when she wanted to sleep. And after a few days she stopped asking for it other than at sleeping time.
  • We started making sure there were no dummies lying around anywhere for her to find. For those whose kids uses dummies, you know that there is always more than 2 in your home, hiding somewhere in the weirdest of places! We tried our best to make it impossible for her to find one, and often failed because we didn’t ever realise how many we actually had at home!
  • I then started detaching the dummy from her after she had fallen asleep. It had also become habit for her to just reach out for it while sleeping and pop it into her mouth. Sometimes she would wake up looking for it (causing Zieyaad or I to have to walk to her room and give it to her), and sometimes she slept right through the night.
  • Once she started sleeping right through the night without looking for the dummy more frequently, I began to start her bed time routine without the dummy. The lights would be off, the milk would have been drunk and only once she realised she was falling asleep she would ask for the dummy. Which is only when I gave it to her.
  • I then started delaying giving her the dummy in the evenings, often until she eventually cried for it. She would ask for it and I would make up any excuse to say where it was, or why I was delaying fetching it for her. Eventually, she started falling asleep without it.
  • Once that happened, we packed away all of her dummies and managed her requests for it by saying that we left it at grandmas house (and when at grandma’s, saying that we left it at our home). This lasted for about 2 weeks, when she asked for it quite frequently. (Shame, I could tell that she was having withdrawal symptoms!) It was difficult at times, I must admit, especially when she really started crying for it. But much like any type of training, we needed to persevere and push through the most difficult stage.

And before we knew it, and without much stress or time, she was completely weaned off the dummy. It felt as though we succeeded at completing a marathon, with the stress being not knowing when we were going to decide to give in to her requests and give her the dummy!

We weaned her off the dummy just before we went on vacation. We were a little nervous for the flight, as we thought the sucking would help with blocked ears as we reached different altitudes in the air. But I refused to give up on the month-long process we had just been through to help her wean. And you know what, we were just fine! Ammaarah didn’t need the dummy at all, throughout our entire trip. Yay for more milestones!!!

We truly have been so blessed with an easy child. Those first 3 months was most certainly the most difficult thing I have ever endured, but it was totally worth knowing how blessed I would be after successfully passing through that 4th trimester! Always thankful and grateful to the Almighty for my countless blessings!

And now for the next stage in Ammaarah growing up…potty training! Oh how I am dreading this stage, especially those moments when she may decide to relieve herself when she is not on the potty or wearing a nappy!! But much like anything else in life, I am certain that everything will happen as it should and when it should.

xxx

Radhia

 

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My mommy body struggles 

Ever since I stopped nursing, I’ve noticed that I’ve slowly began to pick up weight. I stopped nursing more than a year ago now, as I couldn’t maintain expressing milk at work, while nursing Ammaarah in the mornings and evenings when I was with her. 

It started when I substituted feeds with formula as I was not able to express enough to keep up with her demand. Then it moved to stopping expressing all together because as I started to express more frequently and at a faster pace to try to keep up with demand, I ended up damaging myself. And then it moved to stopping completely. Without realising it, my little girl had been weaned after just 6 months. 

I must admit, I’m a little sad that I never had the chance (or possibly didn’t give myself a chance) to nurse Ammaarah for my goal of 2 years. Having said that however, I am very grateful that I had no struggle when I eventually decided to stop all together. 

But ever since I stopped nursing, my metabolism has changed completely and I am no longer able to sustain my pre mommy weight gain. My eating habits haven’t really changed (I usually eat all the time – small snacks of anything and everything), nor has my exercise habits changed (close to no activity), but my body just cannot seem to get rid of the intake anymore. This bothers me – at least about thrice every day. 

Now don’t get me wrong, and for those of you who may know me, I know I am not overweight. I know that I am not physically ‘fat’. But unfortunately, emotionally, I feel as though I am. I’ve always had this problem – being conscious about my weight. I’ve always had this thing about how much I weighed, but because my genetic compound allowed me to be rather skinny with absolutely no effort, I fell into a habit of little to no exercise. And now it’s catching up on me! 

Every morning, whilst dressing for work, I find myself feeling bothered by how snug my pant fits, or how my shirt fits more snug around my belly and hips than how it previously did. Every day, when I snack on something at my desk, I immediately feel the multiple rolls layered on my belly. Every evening, as I change into my pjs, I catch a glimpse of how my body has changed, making me feel rather awkward about myself. 

My body has changed and I’m struggling to accept it. 

I find myself looking at skinny models,actresses and tv presenters, wishing I was as skinny as them. I sometimes feel complete remorse after I have had a meal, regretting the choice we made for supper or the choice I made off the menu. I sometimes find myself researching the internet for quick and easy ways of losing weight – what tablet can I take that will make me lose the weight easily. 

I always bounce back from these thoughts rather quickly, reminding myself that I have become a mother, and that I have become a new me – both physically and emotionally – and that it was okay to feel the way that I often feel and to look the way that I look. But then those feelings creep back in rather easily again – after I have to select a size 12 pant off the rail and then it still fits snug, as an example. 

And I know that the only way for me to fix this is to first accept that I have changed, and then do something about it – changing my diet and exercising. But I am struggling to accept it, and I am struggling to find the time to exercise. I find myself doing a week of my own training, only to revert back to doing nothing the following week. Which then makes me feel even worse, making it even more difficult for me to accept. It’s like a viscous tumbleweed, that just keeps rolling and just keeps growing.

People think I’m crazy when I talk about this, telling me that I don’t need to worry about anything. And I’m sure many of you are possibly thinking that right now. But this unfortunately bothers me, and I really don’t know how to fix it…